ouch, my body still hurts after being sun-burnt. haha. feels like "ang ku kuey" or bbq-ed. yeah. today's cy's birthday so i would like to wish her a very happy 18th birthday this year round. yup. hmm.. all the best in her studies and in life of course. hmm, last night teck talked to me about his relationship with GF. well, i dont know. to me she seems very unreasonable and very, very foul-mouthed. his GF doesnt like his friends(us). dont know why but the moment she sees us she starts swearin' at us. but in the first place i dont know in which ways have we offended her but that doesnt matter to me anyway. teck considered breakin' up with her already but it seems like she doesnt want it. some of us told him to give her another chance for a change or something. but ultimately, we arent gonna spend forever with her, its teck. so its up to you, teck. as usual. U decide. we're gonna support whatever decisions u are making if its for the better. :)

today was great. we had class outing for 2A08. cool... went sentosa early in the morning and we went to do everything from tanning to playing volleyball. everyone who went there was really steady and we had really lots of fun. what was disappointing was only about half the class went for the sentosa part, we enjoyed it nevertheless. think we spent a cool 5 hours under the hot sun. that was only for the first part of the class outing.. we went on to meet the 2nd half of the class to have Pizza Hut at suntec city. so a total of 16 people finally turned up over there. had quite a feast over there.. Pizzas.. Pastas.. well, after that we went to the fountain of wealth. everyone sort of went there to take some class photos and of course went there for a rest.. Got a couple of Heinekens and went on walking to Esplanade.. settled around there and had a can of it. hmm, lots of thoughts went passed my mind when i was sitting over there. the good ones and bad ones of course. The whole day was spent with my classmates and they were cool. very. just hope we'll have more of such gatherings together, we neednt sch to arrange it for us next time. be it a handful it'll be great rite? ;]

to 2A08: everyone had their fair share of fun and memories today, just hope we'll keep the fun and hip going. frens forever! [Chalet leh pls] :D

to my secondary schmates: we might be in different schools right now but i sure do know how to spend time with u guys, we can have some gatherings huh.. its been a while. haha.

to my primary schmates: ever since Benny left for Aussie, we havent had a decent gathering huh. lets do it man..

Lastly to everybody, let's hope everything lasts and not end. enjoy the life ahead.

藉口

翻着我们的照片 想念若隐若现
去年的冬天 我们笑得很甜
看着你哭泣的脸 对着我说再见
来不及听见 你已走得很远
也许你已经放弃我 也许已经很难回头
我知道是自己错过 请再给我一个理由说你不爱我
就算是我不懂 能不能原谅我
请不要把分手当作你的请求
我知道坚持要走是你受伤的藉口
请你回头 我会陪你一直走到最后
就算没有结果 我也能够承受
我知道你的痛 是我给的承诺
你说给过我纵容 沉默是因为包容
如果要走 请你记得我

如果难过 请你忘了我

boring day. i dont know but i guess everyone's going out. i cant find anyone to play street soccer with. ive got itchy legs today but no one seems interested. who cares man? anyway, i think im going out to have a stroll in town or something. its been a while since i did that. i told a lie yesterday. i know i shouldnt have done it. but its white lie. for me at least. hmm, i took up french in school since the start of the term and now i think i know how to make a self introduction of myself in french.. cool aint it? haha. alright.. it's kinda lousy saturday. i seemed to have lost my friends i used to hang out with. now im such a loner. :(

正当我睁开双眼 踏入这个世界
妈妈给我生命 现在让我自生自灭
这让我恐惧 在我的眼里每个人都戴着面具
回想过去 难道生命就是这样延续？
我抽烟抽得我的肺都黑了
就像整个社会被人心笼罩着 它也是黑的
我背着宿命的十字架
也渴望Power, paper and respect
我想这大概就是human nature
佛家说 烦恼即是菩提 我暂且不提
我倒是希望能够回到母体
老妈对不起 我时常把你气得跺脚
你说你后悔当初没有把我堕掉
每当我放学回家 放下那沉重的背包
家里空无一人 只残留着你香水的味道
那时我知道 你那天晚上又要加班
我打开冰箱 拿出微波炉吃冰的晚餐
老爸在凌晨两点钟醉醺醺地回家
我从睡梦中醒来 只听到你们在吵架
我没有办法专心面对第二天的考试
老师他不喜欢我 我也不喜欢老师
我讨厌穿制服 我讨厌学校的制度
我讨厌训导主任的嘴脸 讨厌被束缚
That's true很多人不屑我的态度 他们说我太cool
警察不爽我都曾将我逮捕
I don't give a fuck about 人家说什么
他们想说什么就说什么 但是他们算什么
没有谁有权利拿他的标准衡量我
主宰是我自己 随便人家如何想
我还是我 爱钱的女人只给凯子摸
不懂得用保险套的人别嫌孩子多
金钱力量虽大 却生不带来死不带走
紧握着双拳的人们何时能松开手？

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面
对有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

法庭严肃的空气逼得我快不能呼吸
当时面临着终生监禁的我开始反省
铁栏杆之后又是个截然不同的景象
刑犯们眼神中看不到一点和平的气象
仅有一寸短的铅笔 写的是监狱风云
日记上描绘的不是美好的户外风景
自由在他们眼里才是憧憬放一把自制武器
在枕头旁 以防随时有人偷袭
有些人怀疑老婆在外偷情
有些人把家人寄来的信件一张一张好好收集
有些人二十四小时几乎在床上休息
有些人精神失常 因为受不了打击
三个月如火如荼的漫长等待已过去
出狱后的我得面对三年的缓刑期
这也好 一生中第一次感觉到幸福
但生命中的考验何止如此我不清楚
我不知道 接下来还有什么会发生
翻开报纸的新闻又是看到放火杀人
还记得某年无意间发现的照片
上面有阿姨对男人施行口交的恶心画面
这简直摧毁了她在我心目中的形象
我无法忘怀照片中那笑容多么淫荡
我抵抗 胸口存在着不安及惶恐
我不断听到痛苦的声音在内心怒吼

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

不论我走到天南 不论我走到地北
不论我走到哪都见识到人心的虚伪
It's kinda funny 在人的眼里只有money
外表好像要帮你 却只是想帮他自己
笑容可掬的脸后面 谁知道是个狼心狗肺
连朋友都能背叛 因为只有名利合他口味
她说她爱你的时候讲的是问心无愧
搞不好她爱的是你身后的荣华富贵
你可曾困惑 在你身旁谁是敌是友
对你落井下石的可能就是你的挚友
你可曾经历 当你最需要帮助的时候
平常跟你称兄道弟的人都突然失踪
亲爱的神 伟大的神
你可以怪我想法太过无知 但我只是人
我不信人 因为人也不信我
不要问我为什么 我最多只能告诉你这就是我
生命像海浪一样有时高有时低
你是否告诉自己坚强渡过各种时期
我从命运的天台放眼却看不到星空
漆黑的天空压在头顶使我不得轻松
在我心中 找不到一个安静的角落
我不能再沈睡下去 良心彷佛在笑我
它在说：有几天几夜老妈曾经为你以泪洗面
老爸他只顾己见 希望之火只见熄灭
我接起电话是老爸憔悴的声音
虽没见面却不难想像他当时的神情
刚听完他最近失业的消息
脑海里马上浮现祖母的话 警告我一定要争气
我已经放弃所有哭的理由
因为我早就习惯冷漠活在无情的现实里头
人生要如何起头？改变要如何起手？
当活在泥沼中 要如何才能金盆洗手？

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…
**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…
**Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

Uh...Life's a struggle
yeah...
Life's a struggle

did u feel,man?...

Life's a struggle.

oh everybody's out today. they went to watch fireworks i guess. no one's online. only me. heh.. its all so boring being alone one person. then again, i hope i'd get used to this kind of life. i think there'll still be many such days ahead to come. well, who knows? today was another day, soccer training again. well, i think there isnt going to be any of such field trainings anymore. everyone's losing the passion to play. i thank the few people who still hang on till now. i appreciate the effort. no one knows how im feelin right now. so many things always go thru my brains. im forever thinkin. about this about that about every little single thing. my close friend broke up with his girl friend. so many things happened. so many. how can people just break up after so many years. where's the love they shared? the things they had? the times they shared?

i am not happy.

江南

风到这里就是黏 黏住过客的思念
雨到了这里缠成线 缠着我们流连人世间
你在身边就是缘 缘份写在三生石上面
爱有万分之一甜 宁愿我就葬在这一点

圈圈圆圆圈圈 天天年年天天 的我
深深看你的脸 生气的温柔 埋怨的温柔 的脸
不懂爱恨情愁煎熬的我们 都以为相爱就像风云的善变
相信爱一天 抵过永远 在这一剎那冻结了时间
不懂怎么表现温柔的我们 还以为殉情只是古老的传言
离愁能有多痛 痛有多浓 当梦被埋在江南烟雨中
心碎了才懂

today was a tiring day, no. should i say this week is a tiring one. yep. ive been busy training and training. it's the first time i ever played so much soccer in my whole lifetime. but for something i love, my passion. it's all worth it.. i had a very weird dream today.. now i dont know how do i put it but it was a very sweet one. but dreams are dreams and they're often the opposite of reality. so yeah, when i woke up it took me 5 minutes to reminiscent it and after that i certainly hoped i didnt have that dream. it's good to have a blog, because you know that everyday of your life is written down. maybe one day i might have an accident and i forget everyone, then probably i'll get to read this. went on to look at the other posts i made last time. i feel so proud of myself. for being mature in some sense. then i saw the Valentine's Day post. i remembered myself saying that "u know it hurts me to feign not to love you, i couldnt let known it, i fear it might affect your life. perhaps its the greatest regret of my life, but thats the greatest decision i've made in life." for all that i can remember, i spared a thought for her. i still feel that the greatest regret in my life will be letting it be. and the greatest decision to me, that's to leave her. i cried over it the other time, but not this time. i still love you. but loving isnt about possesion.. remember? :) *it hurts deep down, actually.*