imagine you're in an air-conditioned room, having a flu, mugging for examinations which is supposedly a day away from today, and you're feeling so tired, yet you're afraid you won't complete your revisions. yeah, im in one situation like that, i guess i deserved it completely. =(

today i had revisions, tons of them. the whole day was practically doing mathematics. didnt really have a choice since i got a paper in two day's time.. and finally, i fell sick. i did expect myself to fall ill sooner or later, little sleeps here and there and doing more revisions than i normally do. well, i just hope everything i do pays off .. im feeling terrible. hope i will recover tomorrow if not i'll be bringing this illness to the battlefield. signing off now, all the best to me ! :D

alot of things happened in my life recently, and i havent been at my best of all moods all my life.. yeah, just a day before my birthday i received the news of my uncle, who's passed on. it was too shocking a fact to swallow. i saw him a month ago when i was at my grandparent's place but now he's gone.. to heaven. he's still young, i still cannot accept the fact that he's not with us physically anymore. i missed the days when we were together at my grandparent's place when i was young. he used to be such a jovial uncle to me, and brother to my father. im so sad now that the feeling's gotten over me once again, i've realised the importance of kinship, but much to the expense of my uncle. i hate myself for being so irrational in the past. but i tell myself, that i will change myself, and its really time for me to grow up.. im 18 already, i cant afford to still act like one small kid. i miss my uncle, i remembered attending his wedding a year back, and now he's not with us anymore. i saw grandpa and ma at his wake, i was so hurt, its the first time i saw them crying, i couldnt control myself from crying.
This is to uncle : you will forever be in our hearts, death cannot take us apart. although i havent been sensible last time, i promise that i will grow up and not let you down. i love you. and i always will. May you rest in peace. =)

in life you'll have many friends and relatives.. they all are like the stars shining brightly and you are the sky. they keep you twinkling brightly in your whole lives. it's just too unfair to say that without your girl or boyfriends, your life will be finished. instead, look on the bright side. at times you will twinkle alone..but.. without one star, there are still many other stars shining brightly for you. so whenever u think its the end, i will be there to add that glow for you.. and always know that someone in this world loves you. :D

why must all these things happen to me ? i believe i have explained it to myself before, what really moulds you is what you face and successfully conquered in life. but of all days, why now ? when my birthday is there, exams around the corner, everything looks so set. i feel our lives are controlled in some sense, no idea how it works. or am i just so "suay" ? of all days, why today? nah, not believing in that. i just believe that fate is what that we can control. probably, i will look forward to my life. i believe a bright path is there waiting for me to pass. i will love everybody i see, including my enemies. i will cherish the days i have. and of course, to love my family better. but im doing things that are exactly opposite from what im saying. Why? is life EVER so contradictory? puzzles.

I had a great day yesterday, all my friends were there wishing me a happy birthday and i truely appreciate that very much. thank u guys so much. ... never to know everything to end so drastically. I left my handphone on the taxi.. all is now gone. my contacts .. sigh. i came home knowing that my phone is now gone, i never expected to get a scolding from my mum when i came home. she was nagging me like non-stop. i had a cake waiting for me to be cut, but words from my mum was like too difficult for me to take it. dammit. now the cake is left uncut on the table, i know she meant well to have bought me a cake.. but im in not a mood at all to cut the cake. i hate myself for losing my handphone.. and leading to this. this year truely is going to be a year for me, i just felt that its going to be so different from other years, maybe i'll drop out of school or get killed or something. anyways, my birthday wish is of course to be able to do well in my examinations, and finally to be with the one i truely love. but its okay, its not gonna work out. im just to pessimistic about whats gonna happen. but i love you guys, nevertheless, for blessing me in every way that you could've. thank you people. :D

mixxed feelings, happy and sad at the same time, is this a sign of anything to me ?

GeN-X [stressed out]

Happy Birthday to myself ! can you believe it.. its my birthday today, im kinda excited to whats gonna happen during the day, but this is the first time ever i had this kind of feeling- the feeling of it being like any other day. and the day just before my birthday, i actually received a very sad sad news.. i almost couldnt take it.. i shant put it out because these stuffs goes to my very private life. at this particular day 18 years ago, a child was born.. and thats me :). i remembered someone telling me, when someone is born, someone passes on. well, i have no idea how much an extent was it a fact. give it a thought. how does it feel to have lost a loved one ? imagine one day you see your closest friend in school and the very next day you don't see him anymore. don't it hurt so much? well well.. i guess all these are parts and parcels of life.. no one's gonna have a smooth ride throughout their lives.. there are bound to be some rough edges in life that you wished you werent the one facing it, but what actually moulds us into how we are today is what we've actually faced in our lifetime and how we've successfully conquered it. so.. be thankful for whatever problems you face, because thats when you start to finally grow again. im really thankful to people who remembered my birthday, you people are the coolest i met in life so far, life is just so contradicting and unpredictable. but thats life. :|

treat others well on your way up, because you never gonna know who u are going to meet on your way down.

im 18 ! wow, cool age.

cool, im only a day away from my birthday. well, but it feels like its just any normal day to me. im not at all anticipated for the day to come, no idea why too. just hope everything will go on smoothly for me :D i woke up so early today, like 6am when i have no school. think i slept too early last night, after that soccer match. i realised i just hurt my left thigh. its quite painful and i think the injury was a month ago's problem. starting to worry if anything might happen to my leggy. Anyway, suddenly i realised being single rocks. haha. well, wadi might be right. you say being single rocks when you are single. yeah, humans.. are like that man. my holidays are here man ! but it'll be more of studying, my computer sort of broke down so its just a cool way to actually start working out on what i've left out in school. (was chatting all the way in sch) alright man, 2 modules to kill. it shouldnt be a problem, IF i work it out now. cya blog.